As I was walking through Brooklyn, I came across a little toy football discarded on the side of the street with all the trash that was to be collected. Because I have homeless man tendencies, I picked up this seemingly unsoiled football and noticed it was a promotional product for ABC World News with Diane Sawyer. “Neat!” I thought, and then I turned it over and discovered that it was autographed by my spirit guide, THE Diane Sawyer. HOW COULD THIS BE IN THE TRASH?! Now I own a Diane Sawyer autographed football. Finally.